So many people suffer with chronic pain and they suffer alone. No one really understands long lasting chronic pain unless they are, or have been unfortunate to experience it themselves. Sure every one has had a headache from time to time or an injury that was painful, but unless you live with it day in and day out for long periods of time, you do not understand living with pain. And those who live with someone with chronic pain can find it exhausting, for their lives totally change also. Many end up walking away because they just can't live with it anymore. But there are some of us, who are ever so fortunate to have a family who loves them no matter what and stands by them even though they can't truly understand what their loved one feels. All they know is that the one they love hurts, and there is nothing they can do to help.
Doctors don't really understand pain either. They know it's there but they don't know what to do for it. They write prescription after prescription, hoping that one drug will finally bring their patient relief. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. It may numb it or numb you, but you still feel it, it's always there. They may refer you to someone with more expertise in pain, but the wait to be seen may be long, very, very long. So they, along with your loved ones, feel helpless, they just don't know what to do.
Friends have a difficult time with pain also. I had many who thought if I just got out for a walk or went for a drive I would feel better. What they didn't understand was even the thought of trying to get dressed to do that was almost impossible. Many friends give up, think you are faking, that no one could possibly be in that much pain, and they walk away. You can't blame them, they want to live and have fun and they can't do that with you. They just have know understanding of what you feel.
I have been living with chronic pain since July 2000. I kept thinking it would get better, it would eventually go away, that there must be something wrong with me, that it's all in my head. I went to my doctor thinking all I needed was pain medication, I was wrong. I tried seeing my chiropractor, who had helped me for many years prior to my injury, and he increased the pain. I had cortisone injections in my spine, still no relief. I saw orthopedic surgeons who said that surgery probably wouldn't help. So I continued with prescription narcotics and anti-inflammatory drugs and carried on going from bed to couch, couch to bed. My doctor referred me to the pain clinic a few years later, I was taught how to cope with my pain, exercises to strengthen my back, and ways to cope with stress. I have to say, that did help to some degree. The pain was still there, but I learned how to stop before it got unbearable. A few years later I was able to reduce my medication to a more acceptable dosage. I could get out and try to enjoy life again. The problem was, I may have felt better, but I was still terribly sore.
Now it is 2010 and I am back to where I was in 2000. My friend and I injured our backs at almost the same time this summer. The difference is, I am still here, she committed suicide. The pain, along with other issues in her life was far too much for her to handle. So she said good bye to everyone. So many people reach this point when dealing with constant pain, They see no end to it and no help anywhere in sight. A local psychiatrist also decided to end her life this year after many years of living in pain. It's not because they had no family or friends who cared for them, it was that this was the only way they saw to be pain free. I am still holding on to hope, hope that someone will hear me, that someone will be caring enough to push me through the waiting lists that specialists have, that someone will explain what the problem is that's causing the pain, that someone will lead me down the right path to recovery, or that someone will be willing to do surgery if that is what I need. Yes, I am holding on to hope because at this point, hope is all I have.
"One is the Loneliest Number" may be the title of a Beatles song, but it is also what living with pain feels like. You feel totally alone, like no one truly cares about the pain you feel, even if they say they do. There is no where to go and no where to turn for help. It's like hitting a dead end road and you stand there and feel so hopeless. There is no where to go but back, but you've already been there. Some days you just sit and cry, because there is nothing else to do. Sitting hurts, standing hurts, walking hurts and laying down is the only thing that brings you any kind of relief. So you lay there, and you lay there, and you lay there. And you pray, pray that someone out there cares enough to do something and make the pain go away. One is a very lonely number!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
It Gets Better
I just watched a video on You Tube titled "It Gets Better". Many of you have probably already seen it, the link is on my sidebar.
This video is speaking out to young gay people who are being bullied to the point of suicide, but bullying does not only happen to gay students, it happens to all students. It is heart wrenching that so many young people feel that they have no way out, except suicide. Why is it that the schools turn a blind eye to what is happening? Teachers see these kids 5 days a week!! They spend more time with them than their parents, probably. There is no way that at least one member of the school staff is unaware of the bullying going on right under their noses. Why do they turn their backs on this? Do something!
From personal experience I know that the schools do not want any publicity in regards to problems at their schools. They hide it. I mean if the media knew what was going on at certain schools and published it, what parents in their right mind would want their children to attend any of those schools. Therefore the school's numbers would go down, thus their funding would go down. And what school wants that??? Lets just put the problem under the rug!
My son was bullied at a Catholic high school he attended. He required stitches to his scalp and received a broken nose plus numerous bruises. This happened inside the school, at the end of the day, when all of the students were at their lockers. Where were the teachers? Why did none of the other students step up to help him? Thankfully one teacher heard the noise and stepped in, she was the smallest and most frail teacher at the school. But it should never have been able to happen in the first place!
The student who attacked my son received a suspension. My son pressed charges against him. He was arrested. Yet he was welcomed back to the school. My son refused to go back to that school if the other student was there. I went to the principal and explained this to him. He said there was nothing he could do. I called the School Board and was told there was nothing they could do. I went back to the principal and suggested I should go to the media. Things changed then. Within a few days I was told that the student would be attending another school due to the restraining order he received in respect to my son.
I should have gone to the media! By saying nothing, I changed nothing. I closed my eyes to the possibility that the same thing may happen to another student. By going to the media, the teachers and the School Council would have been aware of what was going on at their school. They had no idea that my son had been attacked, not even his regular teachers knew until they saw his bruises when he returned. The principal kept it quiet, did not share the details with his staff. Tell me, how is that right? This is just one school, can you imagine how many other other attacks are taking place in your city schools that you know nothing about.
So if you are a parent, relative or friend of someone you know who is being bullied or hurt, speak up and speak loud. Don't be timid or afraid. It only takes one voice to make a difference. Your voice will spark another voice, and another. We have got to start speaking out, to make a difference, to save a life. It may not be the life of someone close to you but it will be the life of some other family's child!
This video is speaking out to young gay people who are being bullied to the point of suicide, but bullying does not only happen to gay students, it happens to all students. It is heart wrenching that so many young people feel that they have no way out, except suicide. Why is it that the schools turn a blind eye to what is happening? Teachers see these kids 5 days a week!! They spend more time with them than their parents, probably. There is no way that at least one member of the school staff is unaware of the bullying going on right under their noses. Why do they turn their backs on this? Do something!
From personal experience I know that the schools do not want any publicity in regards to problems at their schools. They hide it. I mean if the media knew what was going on at certain schools and published it, what parents in their right mind would want their children to attend any of those schools. Therefore the school's numbers would go down, thus their funding would go down. And what school wants that??? Lets just put the problem under the rug!
My son was bullied at a Catholic high school he attended. He required stitches to his scalp and received a broken nose plus numerous bruises. This happened inside the school, at the end of the day, when all of the students were at their lockers. Where were the teachers? Why did none of the other students step up to help him? Thankfully one teacher heard the noise and stepped in, she was the smallest and most frail teacher at the school. But it should never have been able to happen in the first place!
The student who attacked my son received a suspension. My son pressed charges against him. He was arrested. Yet he was welcomed back to the school. My son refused to go back to that school if the other student was there. I went to the principal and explained this to him. He said there was nothing he could do. I called the School Board and was told there was nothing they could do. I went back to the principal and suggested I should go to the media. Things changed then. Within a few days I was told that the student would be attending another school due to the restraining order he received in respect to my son.
I should have gone to the media! By saying nothing, I changed nothing. I closed my eyes to the possibility that the same thing may happen to another student. By going to the media, the teachers and the School Council would have been aware of what was going on at their school. They had no idea that my son had been attacked, not even his regular teachers knew until they saw his bruises when he returned. The principal kept it quiet, did not share the details with his staff. Tell me, how is that right? This is just one school, can you imagine how many other other attacks are taking place in your city schools that you know nothing about.
So if you are a parent, relative or friend of someone you know who is being bullied or hurt, speak up and speak loud. Don't be timid or afraid. It only takes one voice to make a difference. Your voice will spark another voice, and another. We have got to start speaking out, to make a difference, to save a life. It may not be the life of someone close to you but it will be the life of some other family's child!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Good-Bye to Tony
Today, my brother-in-law Tony, is saying his final good-bye. His funeral is taking place in Winnipeg. He is the first of 11 siblings to pass away, so this is a very difficult day for the rest of the family. No, he is not the oldest, he just could not fight the cancer any longer. Even though he was in tremendous pain at the end, he held on until each and every one of his siblings had a chance to travel to Arborg and see him one last time. This just shows the love this family has for each other, even though they may not express it openly, it is there! We are all scattered across Canada so getting together is something that happens rarely. Tony and his wife Jane had been extremely busy planning a family reunion for the summer of 2011, we were all looking forward to getting together and making new memories. It is so sad that he won't be able to see it through. I think maybe that we should still have the reunion in "Memory of Tony." He may not be there in person, but he will definitely be there in spirit enjoying enjoying every last minute. Of course, we will all have to raise a bottle of beer to him!
You know, we are always so busy with the little things in our lives that we seldom step back, take a breath, and look at what we are letting slip by - our families and our friends! We have this way of putting them in the back of our minds thinking that they will still be there when we have the time to call them or take a trip to see them. But then before we know it, they are gone and we are filled with the "what ifs" or the "I should haves". Believe me I am probably one of the guiltiest for putting things off. Maybe Tony's death will open our eyes and allow us to make more of an effort.
Today is a sad day for all of us, but for Jane it must be devastating. I hope she can feel the love and support that surrounds her, and if she needs anything in the days to come, we will all be here for her.
0 comments You know, we are always so busy with the little things in our lives that we seldom step back, take a breath, and look at what we are letting slip by - our families and our friends! We have this way of putting them in the back of our minds thinking that they will still be there when we have the time to call them or take a trip to see them. But then before we know it, they are gone and we are filled with the "what ifs" or the "I should haves". Believe me I am probably one of the guiltiest for putting things off. Maybe Tony's death will open our eyes and allow us to make more of an effort.
Today is a sad day for all of us, but for Jane it must be devastating. I hope she can feel the love and support that surrounds her, and if she needs anything in the days to come, we will all be here for her.
A Dark Sunny Day
I awoke this morning to a beautiful sunny clear day and thought this is great. Yesterday was raining dark and miserable. The sun always seems to put people in a happier state of mind. I noticed a message on the phone and I heard that my husband's brother had passed away after a long battle with cancer. Suddenly the day became dark and gray. Two deaths in one week is a little too much to handle. I mean I knew his death was imminent, but still very hard to take. Sue's death was a shock, she was so full of life, never sat still. To learn she took her own life is still too much to comprehend. I am always thinking, "If only I had.........", or "I should have........". The las time I saw her I knew there was something wrong. I wanted to tell her husband to take her to the hospital but I didn't. They were so much in love I was sure he could take care of her. He tried but he didn't succeed. Sue and I have been suffering with severe back pain and being confined to the house unable to do anything took a toll on her. I saw that, but I was unable to help. If only I had picked up the phone just to say hi, maybe just maybe it would have made a difference. Maybe she would still be here.
Please, if you know anyone who just isn't their self lately, don't just walk away, look for the signs of depression, and if they are there do something. Get them the help they need. Depression is a disease, just like cancer. It is not something a person can control or get over simply by going for a walk or getting out of the house. Don't walk away from a friend, family member or someone you sit next to in class. Depression does hurt, more than you know. I know, I suffer from it, but with help and medication I am able to have a life again.
If you don't know the signs of depression please Google "Depression Hurts". Also make yourself aware of the signs of Panic and Anxiety, I am sure there is at least one person in your life who suffers in silence from one of these diseases. If a person has diabetes they need insulin. a person with depression or anxiety also needs medication to survive. Please Help.
0 comments Please, if you know anyone who just isn't their self lately, don't just walk away, look for the signs of depression, and if they are there do something. Get them the help they need. Depression is a disease, just like cancer. It is not something a person can control or get over simply by going for a walk or getting out of the house. Don't walk away from a friend, family member or someone you sit next to in class. Depression does hurt, more than you know. I know, I suffer from it, but with help and medication I am able to have a life again.
If you don't know the signs of depression please Google "Depression Hurts". Also make yourself aware of the signs of Panic and Anxiety, I am sure there is at least one person in your life who suffers in silence from one of these diseases. If a person has diabetes they need insulin. a person with depression or anxiety also needs medication to survive. Please Help.
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